Nearly everyone has faced a narcissistic boss at one point in their career. Being around someone self-centered, self-absorbed, and self-obsessed is a tough experience. Such people work hard only when someone is watching and are quick to claim credit and assign blame. Such people spend much time thinking about gaining influence, power, and success. They also have the habit of lying and exaggerating the truth to feel self-important.
You have two simple choices when dealing with a narcissistic boss – you can quit and get another job, or you can stay and deal with the problem. If you are going ahead with the second option, instead of trying to change your boss, try and change yourself. But before you learn how to deal with a narcissistic boss, let us learn more about narcissism.
What is Narcissism
Narcissism is known as an excessive valuation of oneself that leads to a distorted sense of self-worth and decreases one’s empathic receptivity. While most of us tend to be narcissistic at times, overlooking others’ needs and extreme self-importance can point to a narcissistic personality disorder.
How to Deal with a Narcissistic Boss
Working for a narcissistic boss can be an excruciating as well as an enlightening experience. You not only get an idea of how to handle such people but also develop qualities like objectivity and self-control. Let us look at a few ways of dealing with a narcissistic boss.
Understand Them
To deal with narcissistic bosses, you need to understand them. While it is very likely that they will never change, and it will never be easy to work with them, you must look beyond their narcissistic personality and understand their perspective. This can help you deal with such people, and your efforts can also positively impact them.
Respond Instead of Reacting
The one thing that you must never do while working for a narcissistic boss reacts to their bad behavior. Since these people thrive on attention, you must learn to respond in a way that keeps you in control of the choices and options. Try to step back and regain control when you feel yourself reacting to any narcissistic boss traits.
Set Boundaries
You must also learn to set clear boundaries and stick to them. Keep in mind that these boundaries are not meant to control others but are guidelines for acceptable and unacceptable things. When it comes to self-care, boundaries are normal, healthy, and often necessary.
Read Also: How to Set Boundaries at Work: 5 Tips to Follow
Do Not Let Them Get Under Your Skin
One of the most common narcissistic boss traits is getting a reaction out of someone. It makes them feel that they have power over them. They might insult or humiliate you, but you must never allow them to get under your skin. You can use your emotional intelligence to control your thoughts and actions.
Do Not Feed Their Bad Behavior
Another common trait among narcissists is their constant need for admiration. While realizing that their bad behavior stems from insecurity is good, it is equally important to remember that the more you feed this behavior, the worse it will become. Hence refrain from appreciating as well as criticizing them.
Refuse to Follow Them
While it is easy for employees to follow their leaders, avoid doing that when working for a narcissistic boss. While they hold a certain amount of power over you, try to stop yourself from following in their footsteps as you do not admire or trust them. Instead, do your job to the best of your ability with honor, integrity, and respect.
Cross-examine
One of the most common narcissistic boss traits is portraying oneself as an innocent victim in every aspect. Since these people are offended by the truth, they often exchange it with lies and half-truths. Therefore, you must look for facts and do a lot of cross-examination while dealing with a narcissistic boss.
Do Not Argue
When you argue with a narcissist, everything you say will go against you. Therefore, instead of arguing with a narcissist, make them invisible. Since such people have the habit of distorting the truth to fit their agenda, there is no point in arguing with them. Therefore, your best chance would be to take their power away by making them feel unimportant and invisible.
Read Also: When to Speak Up and When to Step Back at Work
Stay Calm
Narcissists often provoke people to blame them for the fight. Therefore, you must maintain your composure while dealing with a narcissistic boss. Stay calm and disengaged; do not be swept away by their provocations and manipulations.
Focus on What is Important
Working for a narcissistic boss often brings a constant urge to play by their rules. These people want everything and everyone to revolve around them without any responsibility or accountability when things go wrong. While it becomes very easy to become frustrated in such situations, you must develop objectivity. Take a step back and focus on the reason why you are there.
You must accept that working for a narcissistic boss will never be easy. In most cases, the wisest thing to do is walk away from the situation. However, if that is not possible, you must remember that you are gaining valuable experience dealing with one of the most challenging personalities at work.
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