Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes: Embracing and Advocating NeuroDiversity

Life and relationships for someone engaging in different neurotypes can be more rewarding if neurodivergent perspectives and needs are taken into consideration and not viewed as rigid or manipulative. While estimates vary for different neurodiversity types, age groups, regions, and geographies, roughly 10–20% of the global population is considered neurodivergent. Neurodiverse relationships, in which one or both partners are on the autism spectrum, can present unique challenges, particularly related to communication, and appear incompatible with each other. Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes Certified Autism Specialist and Neurodiverse Marriage Therapist, helps better understand the nuances and challenges that NeuroDiverse Christian couples face in communication and connection with each other.

Turning Personal Pain into Desire to Help Others

Dr. Stephanie has a B.S. in Psychology from Campbell University, an M.A. in Christian Counseling from Liberty University, an M.A. Certification in Communication, and several certifications in her autism specialty, besides being an LPC in good standing. She also holds a doctorate in education from Abilene Christian University, and her dissertation was on best practices for the inclusion of students with autism. She became an ordained minister in 2009, and she and her husband, Dan, also an ordained minister and life coach, now share a ministry directed toward families and marriages with special needs.

Dr. Stephanie’s desire to foray into NeuroDiversity came from a personal space of struggle and pain. Her eldest daughter was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (now called Autism Level 1) in 2005. Lack of resources on the subject and the urge to find answers to ensure her child reaches their full potential prompted her to write a book about her journey called “Confessions of a Christian Counselor: How Infertility and Autism Grew my Faith”. Although the book was mildly received, it connected her with many others who were in similar situations and reached out for help. Upon moving to Georgia, with a desire to reach more people through tele-counseling, she obtained other certifications to pursue her calling of working with marriage and families with special needs nationally and internationally.

Autism Awareness, Acceptance, and Action

Dr. Stephanie founded “Autism Spectrum Resources for Marriage and Family, LLC” in 2015 with a vision and mission to provide support, guidance, coaching, counseling, and advocacy for children and adults on the Autism spectrum and their families. The company is formed on the belief that every person has value and with proper support, they can reach their God-given potential and hope for a better future for themselves. Dr. Stephanie says that they view the spectrum through a lens of NeuroDiversity and believe that the community, schools, churches, and organizations can do better to include and accept such individuals.

Dr. Stephanie has dedicated her life to Autism awareness as she does not want others in similar situations to struggle the way she did due to a lack of resources and guidance on the subject. With her company, she aims to help with identifying the condition, help professionals partner with members of the Autism community and their families, and educate those who can support and work with Neuro-diverse individuals. They also make medical practitioners, counselors, psychologists, social workers, as well as educational institutions that engage in training future professionals to identify Autism better equipped to do the same.

Healing NeuroDiverse Christian Marriages

Dan and Dr. Stephanie collectively navigated their child's diagnoses to include various mental conditions, and this parenting pressure put a strain on their marriage and family. Their journey took them further into the world of NeuroDiversity when they embarked on the path to help such couples be better educated and equipped for a more effective and connected marriage. Together, they founded the “International Association of NeuroDiverse Christian Marriages, LLC” in 2019 to bring hope, help, and possible healing to NeuroDiverse Christian Marriages.

Their ministry also includes aiding professionals, clinicians, and ministers with effective coaching and counseling strategies by first understanding and accepting the complexities of NeuroDiverse Christian Marriages. In terms of services, the company offers courses that educate (about the spectrum and their differences in neurology), equip (including interviews of couples on the spectrum as well as ministers concerning the complexities that may be challenging to faith-based NeuroDiverse couples), and effective strategies (how to decide what options are best suited for different couples).

Faith and Hope to Lead Better Lives

Dr. Stephanie is a national speaker, author, and podcaster on the topic of Autism, NeuroDiverse Christian couples, and special needs advocacy. Her counseling and clinical experience is leveraged by her personal journey as a parent of a special needs child. Her book, “Confessions of a Christian Counselor” aims to help clinicians, parents, pastors, and other church leaders better understand, love, and serve individuals and families impacted by autism spectrum disorders and guide them in leading better and fulfilling lives. She believes that churches and schools should be high on inclusivity for people with differences and disabilities, and they need to be made more aware of the condition. The couple also hosts the “NeuroDiverse Christian Couples” podcast that dedicates topics to NeuroDiverse couples as well as issues that may arise in a spectrum or special needs family systems.

Coaching or counseling people with special needs is challenging and proper education and certification are necessary to impart appropriate and effective knowledge on the same. Gaining knowledge through books is one aspect, but another critical approach is spending more time with people on the Autism spectrum. Each person is unique in the condition that they are facing, and you need to see and understand the different ways in which Autism manifests in different people. Also, gathering as much data is important over and above the self-report to be able to do a proper assessment of the situation. Moreover, women working in the Autism field usually traverse that path from a personal journey of similar experiences. There is a need for such advocates out there, and they can help coach and counsel couples in similar situations to give them hope for a better life with their families.