“There is an old adage, that Happy People Sell. When you communicate with a smile the person you are speaking too can pick up a positive vibe and is more likely to converse with you. That is why it is very important to Be Happy”
Alison Edgar
Have you ever had that feeling that you are standing on the edge of a cliff when it comes to the next step in your career, business or life? Not sure whether to take that step and often feel fearful about what to do next.
There are so many conflicting pieces of information on what we should be doing as women in our lives, our careers and our businesses. What does seem to come up repeatedly are the following 6 keys to personal growth and true success. I also believe that it is easier to see how these work if we tie them to someone who can show us the success in them, so here are six women who I have connected with over the years and how they connect to each of these 6 concepts: Be Bold; Be Authentic; Be Brave, Believe, Be Aware; and Be Happy and a little more of me, to see what we have.
1. Be Bold
When you are looking to take that step forward you need to be bold. Often it is not as out there as stepping into the complete unknown, although for many women it may as well be, it is more just taking that first step. This can be dauting for many because we are unsure of what is ahead of us, or maybe even a little afraid of what might happen. What if this isn’t the right thing to do! For some it can be that we feel like we are the first to do it, like no one else has done this before, or that there are no other women who have done it before. This is partly because in some cases there haven’t been many (or any) women before us. This is in that we are still slowly getting the information out to the world about the trailblazers. So even if there are those who have gone before you, you won’t be aware of it, even in our 24-hour news sharing society!
Even with a role model ahead of us, a mentor or coach by our side and confidence in ourselves, it is still a bold step that we need to take into the ‘unknown’ phase. It is bold because we are reaching into ourselves and trusting in the vison we have set out. We are trusting in ourselves and those that are guiding us that it will work out right in the end, that it will be worth the effort.
Renee Lopez
A few years back I connected to Renee Lopez, initially through Facebook and then I was lucky enough to meet up with her in person in one of my trips to the US. Renee is BOLD in her choices. She has worked in the area of college coaching for 14 years. As a female athlete that in of itself is bold. Female coaches at the college level and higher are still, unfortunately, few and far between. Female athletes are often treated as second class citizens. You only need to look at the way Ada Hegerberg was treated by the MC at the 2018 at French sports awards ceremony where she became the first women to even win soccer’s coveted Ballon D'or which honours the greatest soccer player in the world for that year. The MC of the night asked her if she could twerk – we would never see something happen to someone like David Beckham or other male athletes.
Renee not only took the bold step of stepping up and becoming a coach, one who went on to be honoured with a coach of the year title and produce all-American athletes, she chose to remain connected to the field and help others step into the world of college sport. She has boldly stepped into the world of entrepreneurship in the same way and is now helping young people through the minefield that is college sport scholarships. Through her looking for a full-ride program, and book which will be released later this year, she runs leadership workshops, information sessions and still coaches (although in a slightly different capacity these days as an executive coach) others to boldly step into their leadership light.
2. Be Authentic
We are constantly being bombarded with mixed messages on how to be a good leader, especially as women. As mentioned in previous articles I have a pet hat of being called ‘one of the boys’ and an even bigger one in being told my traits and actions are masculine! These messages often make it hard for us to feel as though we are being authentic.
One of the biggest traps you can fall into is to shift the style that you do something to suit the way that someone else would do it. It doesn’t even need to be as obvious as stepping into what are consider masculine traits to take on a role or taking on the key personality traits of a person you perceive to have all the influence. When you step out of your own personality type and own strengths to appear like you ‘fit in’ or ‘belong’ then you are going to put your mind and body at odds, this will eventually catch up with you in the form of illnesses both physical and mental.
You can stand in your own authentic light, play to your strengths and keeping yourself mentally and physically on even ground. This comes through the language of the communication you use. By understanding your own communication language and that of the person you are dealing with you can make sure you use the right language to get points across whilst standing in your own authentic self. This doesn’t lead to a compromise, it allows everyone to remain true to themselves, work to their strengths and get the job done. Remember that those messages you are getting that say you are ‘Scary’, ‘Shouty’ or ‘Bitchy’, to name a few, rather than ‘Strong’, ‘Decisive’ or ‘Committed’ as you would be perceived if you weren’t a woman!
Another wonderful woman who I have met on my travels over the last couple of years is Anastasia Button, Millennial Girl, Entrepreneur and Author is the very embodiment of being authentic. I first connected to her through reviewing her book #NewJobNewLife, which I will say I was happened to not only give 5 stars but was happy to have that put in print for all to see.
As a broke roofing sales person in Denver, Colorado, she decided that it was time to create the space she had been looking for to make things happen. A millennial who had been caught out by the credit crises in 2007/08 she made the move to not just make the space to be who she was and what she wanted to be but also step up and help businesses understand millennials and how to gain productivity and retain their staff. #NewJobNewLife was just the tool to share her authentic self with the world.
Not only that, Anastasia stands up to the negative view we seem to throw at Millennials and how they deal with world and has with full vulnerability on show and stepped out to share the path to being an Entrennial, as she calls it, a Entrepreneurial Millennial. Anastasia now runs the Entrennial University, which is an online university to help Millennials take that step into entrepreneurship. She has reached out to successful entrepreneurs from around the world to make this happen. At each step she has remained authentically never apologising for who she is and the fact that she might think and do things differently.
We need leaders who can be different, otherwise there will be no change in the world.
3. Be Brave
Often whilst standing in your own authentic self, you need to step up bravely and take on new challenges, forge a path that no one else has before. This is where you will reach into yourself and chose to continue in your own power holding bravely and with strength to your own values and convictions to make this happen. This does not always mean you have to go it alone. Often being brave means taking the step of asking for the help or support you need and making it happen that way. It could be braveness in having the courage to take an action that will lead to a small change knowing that it will eventually lead to something bigger, one small change at a time.
Judy Hoberman, in her book Walking on the Glass Ceiling, talks about the need to conquer fear.
“Every person who has experienced success, has also seen their share of failures. But those who are serially successful learn from their failures, figure out how to overcome them, and conquer their fears so they can apply what they learn and try again”
Judy Hoberman (Chapter 17: Conquer Fear)
Judy is not just a successful author, she is a radio show host, and international speaker. Judy has stepped out from working in the male dominated financial industry and into running her own company ‘Selling in a Skirt’. I had the privilege to be on her show three years ago chatting about leadership, and we truly connected over the fact that we both have things that we do in skirts. Hers Selling in a Skirt, mine Climbing a Ladder in a Skirt. In the time since then we have become friends and I really enjoyed getting to meet her in person in the middle of last year when I finally made it to Dallas.
I find that in all the bold and brave steps Judy makes in her life the one I most admire is the setting up The Walking on the Glass Floor Foundation which supports and empowers women by sourcing, publishing and distributing educational materials for women in and aspiring to leadership positions and organizations that support women in leadership. This foundation supports organisations who support their female talent into leadership. You can see this is a woman after my own heart!
4. Believe
One to the things we often forget to do in the stress and pressure of everyday life, is believe. Mostly it is the belief in ourselves that often disappears when we need it most. It is also belief in the process that we have set in action, when we are chasing our vision/ goal.
It is important to keep our belief strong. If we don’t believe in ourselves then how do, we really expect those that we lead to believe in us?
“You must believe that you will receive and that the perfect weight is yours already. You must imagine, pretend, act as if, make believe the perfect weight is yours. You must see yourself as receiving that perfect weight”
Rhonda Byrne, The Secret
Although Rhonda is using weight as an example in this quote, it applies to all aspects of our lives, and if we truly trust in the process and in ourselves, let go and believe, then we can make it happen.
I am going to move across the pond here to a woman who is based in London, United Kingdom. Michelle Watson, a former London train driver, mother, preacher, author and speaker, embodies the full power of believing that you can make a difference and going out there and making it happen. For Michelle, it is not about what you have had to battle against, or what it has done for you but about how you can rise above it, believe in yourself and make it happen. All that she comes in touch with leave knowing that they are a little better for it.
She stepped out of her own negative story and believed that she could change it. This she has made happen. She now runs regular events and a Masterclass, which gets great reviews time and time again, called Woman Be, Vision to Success Masterclass. From someone who’s back story, by all cultural standards and prejudices, said she would never succeed to an author of multiple books and a rising star in the business arena, Michelle she embodies the title of her books Rise Above and Believe. Her latest is subtitled Do or Lie, which I think says it all in the end. If you don’t believe and act, then you are lying not just to those around you but to yourself.
5. Be Aware
It seems so obvious to state that we should Be Aware as leaders, but this is often where we fall down. We step up boldly, are brave, authentic, and even make sure we believe in what we are and what we are doing but we fall down because we fail to be fully aware of what is around us and what is within us.
When I say we need to Be Aware this works on multiple levels, we need to be aware of ourselves and how we are reacting to things around us but also the impact that we are having on others. If we are truly aware of what is happening around us then we will be open to new ideas and innovations and also to those who have the ideas and innovations. A true leader needs to be prepared to raise those in their team to the point that they can eventually replace them and also do the job better than they did. In order to truly do this, we need to be aware of those we are working with.
Julie Holmes, who I originally meet as part of the Professional Speaking Association here in the United Kingdom, but who now is back in the US, is someone who has always demonstrated this for me. A talented speaker and entrepreneur what really stood out for me about Julie is how connected she has always been to what is going on within her and around her. This awareness has led to her not only stepping out of corporate leadership into the world of small business but also stepping up to become a true innovator as an inventor.
Julie listened to what people around her were saying, noted what their frustrations were and through this awareness was able to set about designing and launching a great Bluetooth microphone which is perfect for speakers who want to record what they are doing in a simple and easy way. No longer having a need for mobile phones to be attached to wired mics to record the audio of your speech or training, she has innovated in a way that now allows us to do it all in one with high quality audio to our mobile phones. She demonstrates how to be aware and how to be an innovative leader in her book Little-Big Bangs for Leaders.
6. Be Happy
Finally, all of the above attribute will help be a better leader, but you cannot truly achieve things if without happiness. I am not saying you need to be constantly happy, but I am saying that you need to ensure that it becomes a part of your day to day in some way. Otherwise, days become long. Getting out of bed becomes hard. You feel like everything is an effort. Most of all you just don’t feel up to taking on what life throws at you. Being happy is not about always smiling and laughing at everything, although it is about feeling good within yourself. As someone who deals on a daily basis with a mental health disorder which can see me fighting manic depressive episodes from time to time, I understand this need. There will be days when this means being able to just ‘gaze’ on the glimmer of happiness whether it be from a friend or a partner and something they say, or in a book you are reading or a show you are watching, if you are open to it, even in the depths of depression we can see the glimmers.
If you are truly happy in what you do, then you will be more likely to start each day with a smile on your face, a spring in your step and will be able to face whatever is thrown at you. We need to remember that whether we are leading in a corporate, in a not for profit/community, government organisation, our own business or just in day to day life, we are constantly selling other people our view point, our ideas or products and we really can’t do this from a position of unhappiness.
“There is an old adage, that Happy People Sell. When you communicate with a smile the person you are speaking too can pick up a positive vibe and is more likely to converse with you. That is why it is very important to Be Happy” Alison Edgar
Alison is a friend and mentor and from the first time I met her, back in 2016, what I noticed about her was her smile and energy. She has been asked to advise start-ups here in the United Kingdom and is considered to be an authority on selling and what is needed to create a successful business. She talks about selling success tips in her book Secrets to Successful Sales and she embodies her success through her leadership in helping other, particularly young people, get on the right track in their own business.
At the end of the day we need more women to step into the personal power and lead by example. The more role models we create for women of all ages the greater women leaders will step up. We are out there, and I know that it will be different in the future than it was in my 1970’s youth whereas a wee Australian girl I ended up looking to Magaret Thatcher for inspiration. What I find as an adult as I see more written and spoken about, is that I would have loved to have known about women such as Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan and Mary Jackson, I would have connected even more, especially to the Mathematics loving Engineering brain. These women embodied these qualities and had to fight battles to do what they wanted that unfortunately many still do today.
The more we talk about women leaders that embody these qualities, those who have a level of fame, and those who don’t to more we will be able motivate and inspire the generations of women to come.
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