How to Get What You Deserve Without Compromising Your Values

Negotiation is often seen as a battle of wills, especially in the workplace. For many women, the challenge lies in balancing assertiveness with the fear of being labeled as too aggressive or too passive. But negotiation is an essential skill—one that can make a difference in earning what you deserve and achieving career growth without sacrificing your values.

When it comes to getting what you deserve, you don’t need to compromise who you are. The art of negotiation involves preparation, strategy, and, most importantly, confidence in your worth. Here’s a guide on how to approach negotiation without letting go of your authenticity or principles.

Know Your Worth

The first step in any negotiation is understanding your value. This means more than knowing your salary range or industry standards; it means knowing your unique contributions. Whether you bring exceptional leadership, innovative problem-solving, or an unmatched work ethic to the table, it’s important to be clear about your strengths. Knowing your worth allows you to present a case based on what you can offer, not just what you’re asking for.

Research is key. Look at similar roles in your field, speak to colleagues or mentors, and gather the data that supports your desired outcome. When you walk into a negotiation armed with information, you’re able to discuss numbers and benefits with confidence, making it clear that your request is fair and justified.

Set Clear Goals

Before stepping into any negotiation, be clear about your objectives. What are your non-negotiables, and where are you willing to be flexible? Having a firm idea of what you want ensures you don’t walk away with less than you deserve. At the same time, flexibility can create room for compromise without feeling like you’ve given too much.

If you’re asking for a raise, decide how much is reasonable based on your role and contributions. If you’re negotiating a promotion, understand the scope of responsibilities you’re ready to take on and the resources you need to succeed. Setting clear goals allows you to communicate your needs effectively while staying grounded in what truly matters.

Be Assertive, Not Aggressive

Assertiveness doesn’t mean aggression. There’s a big difference between standing your ground and bulldozing over the conversation. The key to assertive negotiation is staying calm, composed, and respectful, while still making your needs clear.

Remember, you’re negotiating for a fair deal, not a win-lose scenario. By presenting your case logically and without emotion, you make it easier for the other party to see the value in your requests. Instead of framing your demands as ultimatums, express them as mutual benefits that can help both you and the company succeed. For instance, if you’re asking for a flexible schedule, explain how this will make you more productive and committed to your work, rather than just emphasizing personal preference.

Stay True to Your Values

Negotiation is not just about securing a deal; it’s also about maintaining integrity. Too often, women feel pressured to accept less than they deserve, especially if they fear being seen as difficult or ungrateful. But compromising your values can lead to regret and resentment down the road.

When negotiating, stay true to what matters to you—whether that’s fair compensation, work-life balance, or respect in the workplace. It’s okay to walk away from a deal that doesn’t align with your principles. Remember, the right opportunity will honor both your skills and your values.

At the same time, approach the conversation with an open mind. Negotiation is a two-way street, and listening to the other side can reveal common ground that may have been overlooked. The goal is to create an agreement that feels good for both parties.

Timing is Everything

Choosing the right time to negotiate is as important as the negotiation itself. Timing your request after completing a major project or achieving a key milestone can strengthen your position. You want to make your ask when your contributions are fresh and visible.

It’s also wise to consider the company’s financial health and the overall job market. If you’re in a growing industry or your employer is expanding, it may be the perfect time to ask for a raise or new responsibilities. On the other hand, if the company is experiencing budget cuts or layoffs, you may need to adjust your expectations and timing.

By understanding the external factors at play, you can increase your chances of a successful outcome.

Use Silence as a Tool

One of the most underrated tactics in negotiation is the power of silence. It’s tempting to fill every moment with words to avoid awkward pauses, but sometimes silence can work in your favor. After making a request, give the other party time to process and respond. The longer the pause, the more likely they are to reconsider or adjust their position.

Silence can create a sense of urgency for the other person to speak up, and it often leads to concessions without you having to ask for them directly. Practice being comfortable with pauses, and use them strategically to your advantage.

Ask for More Than You Expect

Another key tactic is to ask for slightly more than you expect to get. This allows room for negotiation without settling for less. For example, if you’re asking for a 10% raise, you might initially request 12% or 15%. The worst that can happen is that the other side counteroffers, but this often brings you closer to your original goal than if you’d asked for less to begin with.

This strategy works particularly well when negotiating salary, benefits, or other perks like vacation time or professional development opportunities.

Build Relationships, Not Transactions

Negotiation isn’t just about getting what you want in the moment. It’s about building long-term relationships that can benefit you down the road. Approach the conversation with a collaborative mindset, aiming to foster goodwill and mutual respect.

By showing that you’re invested in the company’s success, as well as your own, you position yourself as a valuable team member. This can make it easier to secure future opportunities and build a reputation as someone who’s fair, strategic, and professional.

In some cases, you may not get everything you ask for right away, but building a strong relationship can lead to more fruitful negotiations in the future. Stay patient and remember that each negotiation is part of a larger career journey.

Follow Up and Close the Deal

Once an agreement has been reached, it’s crucial to follow up and ensure that the terms are clearly outlined in writing. This could be in the form of an updated job description, a formal letter, or even an email summarizing the key points discussed. Having the details in writing protects both parties and provides a reference point in case any issues arise later.

Following up also reinforces your professionalism and attention to detail, leaving a lasting positive impression on the other party.

Negotiating doesn’t have to mean compromising your values or changing who you are. It’s about standing firm in your worth, communicating clearly, and working toward a solution that benefits everyone involved. Whether you’re asking for a raise, negotiating a new role, or advocating for a better work-life balance, the art of negotiation is a powerful tool that every woman should master.