Paula Day: You Attract What You Believe You Are Worth

When Paula and I connected, I felt her energy and desire to help other women own their feminine energy and live a full life—sharing with you a few nuggets from our conversation.

What are the failures that you most cherish? Share one of the losses that have become the foundation of your success today?

When my marriage ended, I felt like such a failure, I was so unhappy, and I felt like I had failed my children and my family; I lost everything when I walked away from that marriage, my house, my money, my business, my friends, I had to start again from scratch. I had to rebuild my life again at 40 and then get out and date again; I had no problems attracting men, it's just that they were all the wrong men, and after attracting all the wrong men over and over again, I decided enough was enough. I decided to stop leaving my love life up to chance and apply my knowledge of relationships I had been using in the corporate space for my love life, and things started to shift. From this came my strategy, which has built me the successful business I have today. So, looking back at what some might have said was a failure, I truly believe this happened for me to be here doing what I do today so that women can find the relationship of their dreams and never settle for anything less than that.

What are the qualities that you like least and most about yourself?

My least favorite part of me is that I can take many actions all at once and then, as a result, will get worried about getting it all done. This quality then does impact my downtime because if I say I am going to do something, I do whatever it takes to get it done.

The quality I like most about myself is that I am so resilient that I was not always that way, but I feel like I move on quickly from setbacks, and this skill helps me keep stepping forward. 

If you could go back five years, what advice would you give your younger self? 

Wow, five years ago, I was scared and worried about leaving a relationship that was not serving me; I felt alone, concerned about what people would think, how it would impact my children and if it would be better than what I had. I was so worried about other people, and guess what? Very few of those people that I was so concerned about are even in my life now. If I could go back, I would say, "Believe in yourself, don't be afraid to take a step forward, stop worrying about what others will think or say, or if you can make a change. Everything will be ok if you stick to what you want, take action towards it; then everything will turn out so much better than you ever thought possible."

How do you continue to develop yourself?

For someone who hated reading at high school and thought she would never read another book after that, wow, have times changed for me. I truly believe you must be your best client, so spending time developing myself is a must for me. So much so that it's just become part of my week. I am part of an elite mastermind, and I get coaching. I block out learning time each week to better understand what I do and pull in the best coaches to master a skill. I don't for one moment think that I know it all or believe that I can do it all alone.

Is it better to be extraordinary and late, or good and on time?

I have to go with extraordinary and late on this one. I would much prefer to deliver value, rather than be mediocre but on time. That being said, I am no perfectionist, so I don't delay things to try to make them perfect, but I will make a call to be late if I believe there is value in it. My partner can vouch for this one. In fact, I was late for our very first date. I will never walk out with my hair half done, just because the time said now, or release something if it's not going to add value.

What questions do you ask yourself every week? 

The questions that I ask myself each day are 'How can I appreciate more of the joy at this moment right now?' and "What am I grateful for today?" These questions force me to focus on the present moment and what is going right. Sometimes it might just be as simple as the sunny day or pretty flower, sometimes it's my kid's happy faces, and sometimes it's beautiful moments with my man. I genuinely believe that the more you have to be grateful for, the more moments like this will come into your life.

What would you say to women who let doubts hold them back from living a life they want. 

I genuinely believe that doubt kills more dreams than actual attempts to make a change to live the life you want; I spent years listening to others' opinions, their distrust in my ability, in what I should and should not do. The problem with this is that they offer their view based on their impression of your life and beliefs. Then, of course, there is the worse doubt of all, the self-doubt where I would stop myself or self-sabotage my attempts at success. Doubt is real from others and yourself, but when you can recognize this and tell yourself to get out of your way, step out of your comfort zone, take action and decide to go for what you want regardless, well, that's when life conspires to give it to you.  

Paula Day is an international dating and relationship coach and is passionate about helping women attract the man of their dreams. She has been lucky enough to have learned from the best, with Tony Robbins, Grant Cardone, Gary Vee, John Travolta, Michelle Bridges, and Richmond Dinh.

She has been coaching and leading people for over 15 years and in that time studied relationships, NLP, and hypnotherapy, and is invested in her continuous growth.

Things were not always smooth sailing for Paula, who has experienced a marriage breakdown, dating as a single mum, and finding the man of her dreams at 40. Paula could have used this as an excuse, but instead, she turned it into a challenge and opportunity and has built her dating and relationship coaching business to be the success it is today. She has had many guest speaking opportunities and works with her coaching clients to give and deliver the best coaching for them to step forward to attract the relationship of their dreams faster.