Self-care and you: Leaders

In my January column, I issued a bit of a challenge for readers to choose self-care as a top priority for the year. But of course, that article came amidst the inevitable cacophony of self-help advice, diet programs, top 10 lists of how to slim down, organize your life and rid yourself of all the pesky bad habits that are keeping you from living your best life.   

Ok, I’m being contrary on purpose – for I am one of those who contributes to the white noise of January-isms.   

But now it’s a few months later. How is 2019 going for you so far? Are you on target to succeed at your goals, keeping your resolutions and whatnot?   

Excellent. Because I’m guessing that over 60% of you said YES. Because you’re bad asses – that’s why!   

To be honest, that question is immaterial to what I have to share. No matter what path you are on, each one of us could use more self-care.   

Just think about it…   

Before we go any further, think about what you would do if you had an afternoon, 24 hours, or dare I go further and say a whole week to yourself.   

Seriously… take a moment. Before reading on, take a few moments and think about what you would do with this gift of time. No deadlines at work. No kids barging in on you in the bathroom. Just you. How would you spend this precious time??  

Did you play along? Did you actually take the time to think about my question? Or are you just hurrying along to finish the article? Consider your response – it says a lot.     

Now, let’s revisit your goals for the year… Not so much for what you did or didn’t do so far, but for the content of the goals.   

A sk yourself the following questions:  

How much are my goals about achievement, as opposed to self-care?   

Am I on yet another round of the same goal I set every year?   

How much fun and joy are reflected in my goals?  

What are your observations? Even though it’s no longer January, you can make some revisions (or simply an addition or two).   

This year consider doing something dramatically different as you plan out your year. Look for ways to make sure that your own health and well-being are on the radar screen. Carve out time for fun, romance, and adventure.  

Here are a few tips to make sure that YOU are doing well while you are doing your thing in the world.   

1. Quiet your mind. Create space for meditation, prayer, and quiet contemplation. Meditation is becoming more popular, and apps like Calm and Headspace make it easy to access nice calming routines. Quiet walks or drives alone (without music, podcasts, or other entertainment) also open up space for us to tune in to our inner voices.   
2. Put yourself first instead of last. As leaders, we often put the needs of our team before ourselves. We look out for them when it comes to paying increases, and maybe not ourselves. For working moms, this is even more compounded. It may feel unnatural at first, but with practice, it will feel more comfortable.      
3. Move! If we stop thinking about exercise as work, or something we “have to do” like taking medicine, maybe we can shift our relationship to our bodies and our health. The trick is finding something that you enjoy. Take up biking with family, friends, or your boo. Set a goal to run a 5K with a friend, and train together. Start a lunchtime walking group with co-workers. Dance! Do Yoga. Have fun with it.  
4. Put aside some time to play, rejuvenate or just go off the grid. High performers pack our schedules so full, that we don’t create space for time with loved ones, or just to enjoy quiet time for ourselves. You must be intentional about creating space for this, otherwise, your schedule will fill up, as it inevitably does.   
5. Take a fantastic vacation. You deserve it! Leave your laptop and tablet at home. Put your out-of-office notification on your email and have someone cover your duties. Unplug – for real. Nothing ruins a vacation more than being tethered to the office the entire time. And trust me, your loved ones do not appreciate it.  

Taking care of yourself is NOT selfish. It’s wise. A popular analogy is when preparing for a flight – you always put your own oxygen mask on first before assisting others. It’s no different in life.   

One of my favorite books is Year of Yes by Shonda Rimes, the creative genius behind the TGIT (Thank God I t’s Thursday) lineup on ABC, who created Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, and How to Get Away with Murder, among other shows. This book is about her first-person account of saying “yes” to things that she normally would not allow herself to experience, and how it opened her up to a whole world of possibilities for her. I’m not suggesting that you follow her plan, but I like the spirit of it. However, putting yourself first may require saying “no” to some things, and that’s ok.   

To borrow an “Oprah-ism”, here’s what I know for sure. Life is made up of millions of little choices. We make them every day. Those little decisions are the building blocks that define our lives. Let this year be an extraordinary one for you. And it just might not be measured by metrics, sales goals, or monetary rewards.  

This year – choose yourself. You deserve it.