Asking for What You Need

Asking for what we need—whether it’s a salary raise, flexible work options, or funding for a new business idea—can feel intimidating for women entrepreneurs. Struggling with self-advocacy due to gender-based socialization or simple lack of practice, we often hesitate to speak up to request the resources and conditions that could profoundly impact our ventures’ success. 

Yet wielding the courage to voice needs and negotiate effectively remains a pivotal entrepreneurial skill. According to Dr. Hannah Riley Bowles, senior lecturer in public policy at Harvard Kennedy School, women who regularly ask for what they deserve and negotiate win-win compromises achieve higher incomes and greater career advancement over time.  

The good news? Self-advocacy derives less from innate confidence than skill development. By reframing self-limiting mindsets, understanding root causes for reticence, honing verbiage, and deploying science-backed tactics, women can overcome obstacles to master the art of speaking up powerfully. 

Reframing Requests as Rational Business Needs 

Firstly, we must reframe requests for workplace concessions or resources as a rational dialogue about business needs—not emotional demands or signs of inadequacy if denied. Rosalinde Torres, director of the Global Leadership Institute at the World Bank Group, emphasizes that advocating for operational conditions that enable our peak performance is smart leadership strategy. 

Acknowledging that requests fuel the growth trajectory for ourselves and our ventures helps reposition self-advocacy as a necessity, not a nuisance. Preparing logical cases grounded in business goals also helps curtail anxieties about appearing demanding. We can stand firmly in data-driven rationale rather than sheepish apologies when asking for what we need. 

Pinpointing Root Causes of Reticence 

To consciously strengthen advocacy skills, we must first confront the unconscious forces commonly causing women’s reluctance: 

Naming these patterns allows us to catch and counter self-limiting thoughts. It also highlights the need to thoughtfully assess potential audiences and fine-tune language to ensure requests land cleanly. 

Honing Advocacy Verbiage 

Beyond mindset, crafting polished, confident verbiage dramatically impacts advocacy success, notes leadership communications expert Judith Humphrey. She advises: 

Tactics for Speaking Up Powerfully 

When preparing to advocate for a need—whether asking your board for R&D budget expansion or petitioning a vendor for discounted services—utilize research-backed methods for effective influence. 

First, highlight common interests so audiences recognize request enables shared goals, advises leadership consultant Marsha Clark. Explaining how a budget for a social media strategist or outsourced IT supports revenue growth communicates a mutual benefit.  

Secondly, assertiveness needs utilizing “I” language without apologies or justifications, counsels economist Linda Babcock. Saying, “I need to hire a contractor to meet production deadlines for our client,” projects confidence vs. self-doubt. 

Thirdly, when met with resistance or denials, reframe to spark creative problem-solving, urges author and Wharton Business School professor Adam Grant. Asking, “What possibilities could we explore to obtain an office space conducive for client meetings within budget constraints?” opens constructive dialogue. 

Finally, viewing negotiations as collaborative versus adversarial stresses leadership coach Lorrie Lykins. Considering the needs, limitations, and motivations of all parties builds win-win compromises. Maintaining trust and good faith bolsters relationships for future agreements. 

Cultivating Community for Continued Progress 

Transforming entrenched communication patterns requires continual courage and practice. To sustain positive change, executive coach Dr. Marcia Reynolds proposes regularly asking, “Who can I make requests of this week?” to expand comfort zones. Over time, framing advocacy as a supportive, community-centric act reduces intimidation. 

Reynolds also emphasizes appreciating small wins and moments of courage after each effort. Even unsuccessful asks that move understanding forward comprise progress. Tracking achievements boosts confidence to press on. 

Requesting fair conditions, resources, and compensation enables women entrepreneurs to access our greatest leadership potential. By countering unconscious hurdles, honing influential language, deploying sound tactics, and supporting one another through challenges, we can master the self-assured art of speaking up successfully. 

Asking for What You Need: Small Steps, Big Impact 

While transforming communication patterns takes time, small consistent actions build self-advocacy skills. Consider incorporating these simple tips from experts into your weekly routines: 

✔️ Make three weekly asks. Set a goal to make asks of varying sizes, recommends executive coach Dr. Gleb Tsipursky from an informational business call to negotiate a major deal. 

✔️ Journal about needs. Processing feelings around asking and planning verbiage in writing relieves stress and builds confidence, says psychologist Dr. Andrea Brandt. 

✔️ Use the AIN model. Ensure requests are specific, Information-based, and Necessary for shared Noble goals, advises leadership trainer Liane Davey. 

✔️ Roleplay with friends. Practice challenging asks aloud to polish language and flow, urges diversity advocate Melinda Emerson. 

✔️ Record wins. Keep a note of requests made and success rate over time to quantify progress, says small business strategist Pavita Howe. 

Asking for fair recompense and work conditions need not undermine relationships or self-image. Instead, view self-advocacy as an entrepreneurial skill to master through mindset shifts and continual practice. With community support and perseverance, you’ll gain the power to create work environments where you—and your ventures—can thrive.